Sometimes, I find it easier to just say I have lost hope, than to walk in faith.
I was talking to a friend the other week, and I realized that I have been believing a big fat lie.
I am single (this is not the lie). And if I am being honest, MOST days, I am completely happy with my singleness. I thoroughly enjoy my independence and the freedom I have to do what I want, when I want, not having to double check dates or times with someone is quite nice and easy! But there are days, where it just plain sucks, and I hate to admit it, but I allow myself to wallow in my singleness (commence junk food and Netflix binge). (Disclaimer: this post is NOT to encourage people to tell me that there is a guy out there for me…just be patient and wait…i could be rich by now for all the times this has been told to me…so I kindly ask, please refrain from such comments! Thank you!)
So I admit these things all over the internet why?
Because, the lie that I was believing, was that I have become hopeless in ever getting married, of finding a partner to go through life with. That God has chosen to not give this desire of mine, to me; ever. That I am either not worthy enough, or too worthy to receive such a gift (if that makes any sense). That loneliness, is just a part of my life, forever. And you know what, that part might be true. Who am I to say? But the point is…believing this lie, has strongly affected my intimacy and relationship with God, in a very debilitating way and that is not okay because it has also affected my other relationships and my heart.
As my friend pointed out to me, I am not actually hopeless, because I still dream of someday being married with kids. When we are hopeless, dreams die and my dream, has not died. And I cannot even describe to you the amount of power and freedom I feel in that bolded sentence alone. I am not defined by being single, nor are people defined by being married.
We can have dreams and not be discouraged by not having them in our hands, if our dreams are rooted in and handed over to Christ. He is our true reward.
I share this because I know there are many of you out there who feel like you have become hopeless in certain circumstances. I want to encourage you, that if you still are dreaming, about what you feel hopeless about, you are indeed not hopeless. You are just discouraged, let down and hurting and I can guarantee you, it is affecting your view of God and relationship with Him. Your first step, is to admit that you are not hopeless, but that you are hurt. To tell God how you feel about the situation and then allow Him to remind you that He is the one in control and He in fact, who loves you deeply, has given you His Holy Spirit to be able to persevere and trust Him with your situation.
And if you find it easier to just say you’re hopeless rather than to walk in faith, don’t take the easy way out. It only leaves you wanting. restless. and unsatisfied.